anxiety

So, it is Friday night and Hubby just called to say he has to stay late at work…ugh. So I sit here with a glass of vino and KidzBop playing on the iPhone while the kiddos run around like banshees. TGIF! Here’s some more excitement akin to the party over at Kelly’s.

ONE.

Not gonna lie, some days parenting is hard. Sometimes the kids are running around like banshees (oops, already mentioned that…mommy brain…) and you have a sinus infection and the LAST THING you wanna do is make another friggin’ peanut butter sandwich. But then oldest daughter has to do her reading homework and decides it is a good idea to read to younger brother while channeling her first-grade teacher at storytime. I had to smile. So cute.

TWO

I am not the most confident person in the world. Luckily, as an adult I have been nowhere near where I was in that regard in high school! However, I have been going through a rough patch lately. I am just feeling…I don’t know….frumpy and uncool. I think it has to do with it being February. Not a fan of this month. We’ve all been sick and stir-crazy and I am ready for spring! But I think that since I’ve been fighting negativity on that front it has come over to bite me on the confidence front as well. Nothing specific, just an overwhelming feeling of disliking myself. This, too, shall pass, I know.

THREE.

But…but…something wonderful has happened to my sweet younger sis! She is engaged! Yay! So happy for her and her young man. We are looking forward to a fall wedding.

FOUR.

Since I suffer from depression, I have always been worried about my children ending up suffering from those sort of things as well. My oldest, Junior, has always been extremely sensitive and intense. This year he has been suffering from panic attacks and seems to experience anxiety that is really hard to get a handle on. We have been in communication with his school counselor and she has been really great about teaching him relaxation techniques and just being available for him to visit with about his concerns. However, it is scary when he gets so worked up that he can’t calm himself down. He has especially been stressed-out this week about his upcoming karate testing and a school program where he has to memorize a speech. It is really hard for me, as a parent, trying to help him through dealing with this anxiety, especially since he is only in 4th grade! It seems too young to have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

My favorite stress relief: the sunset out my back porch:-)

FIVE.

Bellie sat and watched the entire 3-episode special of Rick Steves’ Travel Skills television shows with me. At first she was irritated that I wanted to watch that while I folded laundry (folding, which I hate…sometimes the only thing that gets me through is Rick Steves and wine), but then she was kind-of interested in the lovely locales Rick was visiting. I think she was most impressed with the tiny Swiss alpine villages. (I hope we can take the kids over there some day!)

SIX.

Oh the Trolls soundrack. We have moved on from KidzBop. Which I have something of an affinity for…I now have small ballerinas dancing to Anna Kendrick’s version of The Sound of Silence.

SEVEN.

I made a promise last weekend that I had to keep. It was hard.

I let my kids do painting.

It was stressful. It was messy. Spike dumped an entire water cup of green-tinted water on the floor but did not seem concerned in the least. I think they had fun. And that is what motherhood is all about.