A Mom’s ABC show-and-tell

This week, Bellie’s kindergarten class has started reviewing the alphabet by doing an “ABC Show-and-tell”.  Every day, each student is to bring in an item (or person or pet) that corresponds to that day’s letter of the alphabet.  Bellie is having a great time trying to come up with what she wants to bring each day.  [“D” day is tomorrow and Bellie really wanted to bring Hubby for “Daddy”, but unfortunately it is during the work day….luckily Hubby works 4-10 hr shifts during the week so he is off on Fridays.  I told Bellie she could bring her daddy in on Friday for “E” day instead – for “engineer”.]

If I were participating in this weeks-long ABC show-and-tell, here is what I would bring:

A – Anxiety.  Lately, especially because toddlers just learning to walk are little anxiety-producing balls o’ fun.  I love musing on how mine might fall down the stairs, take a nose-dive off the porch, hit her head on some piece of furniture containing right angles, pull down a bar stool on herself, trip over a geriatric (and unassuming) pet, find a Lego to nosh (and potentially choke)on…etc….etc…..

B – Bottoms.  I spend way too much of my time concerned about the state (wet? dry? stinky?) of those of my fellow household members.

C – Candy wrappers.  Everywhere!  Under the bed, in the couch cushions, squirreled away in underwear drawers, stuffed in pockets, hidden in the piano bench, left in car cupholders. Anywhere but the garbage can!

D – Diapers.  Don’t think I need to elaborate on this one.

E – Elephants.  As in, “Why do my children sound like a herd of elephants when they come in the house after school?”

F – Fair.  My children are very very very concerned that things in life are not this.

G – Goodnight Moon512bmv1xuuqlThe classic children’s fantasy tale in which a young rabbit settles himself down quietly for bed before eight o’clock while his caregiver relaxes by the fire doing needlework.

H- Hugs.  The best.

I – Introvert.  Me!  I should have considered this fact a little more carefully before filling my house with lots of additional people.  Who love me so much they want to be around me all. the. time.  Like when I’m in the shower…or on the toilet…

J –Jelly bean.  Something that may, at some point, be stuck up your toddler’s nose that might require medical attention.

K-Ketchup. My children’s favorite food group.

L-Laundry.  The never-ending story.

M- Minivan.  Heh.  I was one of those moms. The one who swore I would never have one.  Believe it!  I am now one of the cool ones.

N- No.  Why do I feel like I am always saying this to my kids?  It would help if their requests were “Can I help you out, Mom by (insert any conceivable chore here)?” instead of “Can I jump off the roof/drink an entire 2-liter of Mountain Dew/use the chainsaw to do an art project?”

O – Oasis.  A mother’s code name for the (5 seconds of peace she gets alone in the) bathroom.

P – Prayer.  With a whole lotta this and a little coffee, I can conquer the world.

Q- Queen.  As in “My family treats me like” (well, on Mother’s Day anyway)

R – Romance.  The sexiest thing my husband does for me is empty the dishwasher.

S –Surprise! Or as Hubby likes to say, #3 and #4.

T – Tampons. Fun toys found in Mommy’s bathroom drawer, to be brought out to entertain dinner guests.

U –Umbilical hernia surgery. Something fun you get to do following pregnancy #4 after your progeny have successively stretched out your belly button.

V- Vacation.  Or, as I call it, a trip to the grocery store without the kids.

W-Wind.  Gets passed (and laughed about) much in my house.

X-Xeroderma (look it up!) the condition of my skin after washing 10,000 sink-loads of dishes.

Y-Yoda – the wise, infinitely cool alien creature my children respect who I strive to emulate but what I actually end up being is a…..

Z- Zombie. I am still waiting for all of my kids to sleep through the night, EVERY night.

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